| OMG...has it ReALLY been a YeAR! |
[Jun. 18th, 2005|12:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | GreenDay-Good Riddance (time of your life) | ] |
GAWD...so much changed in only a year....so much, yet so little. I'm a McNair scholar, conducting summer research on Angela Carter. Man oh man, is she some kind of kinky! |
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| Quarterflash (1981) |
[Jun. 12th, 2004|07:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | duh...see below | ] |
Cryin' on the corner, waitin' in the rain
I swear I'll never, ever wait again
You gave me your word..but words for you are lies
Darlin' in my wildest dreams, I never thought I'd go
But it's time to let you know....oh...
Chorus:
I'm gonna harden my heart
I'm gonna swallow my tears
I'm gonna turn...and...leave you here.....
All of my life I've been waitin' in the rain
I've been waiting for a feeling...that never, ever came
It feels so close, but always disappears....
Darlin', in your wildest dreams, you never had a clue...
But it's time you got the news......oooo....
Repeat Chorus
I'm gonna harden my heart
I'm gonna swallow my tears
I'm gonna harden my heart
I'm gonna swallow my tears
Harden my heart...harden my heart...
swallow my tears
I'm gonna harden my heart.... |
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| What's worse? |
[Jun. 12th, 2004|06:53 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Goodbye to Love... | ] |
They say that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all...and I say BULLSHIT! I'd rather not ever have that knot in my stomach and those tears in my eyes when faced with the pain of losing LOVE.
You think it's gonna work out, that maybe ... you might be lucky and have that special someone that's glad to see you (besides the dog or cat, that is) when you get home. You think that they want you as much as you want them, but it's all a lie.
No pain equates with that of unrequited love...not even having your chest sawed open (I should know!) At least there are drugs for that kind of pain. Not being able to be with someone you love is so much worse.
I know it eventually will heal, but in the meantime I say goodbye to love (Carpenters), I'm gonna harden my heart (Quarterflash) and I'm gonna hit the road, Jack (Ray Charles, God rest his soul). hmmmm....maybe I'll be a "Down with Love" girl...like the movie? NAH... |
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| Maybe 6 feet isn't so far down? |
[Jun. 10th, 2004|04:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Creed - One Last Breath | ] |
OK, I went to the coast (CC) to renew my spirit and hook up with a friend...so, why do I feel so down? |
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| Oh GAWD another Thursday |
[May. 20th, 2004|04:03 pm] |
OK...so, I'm gradually becoming a vampire. Working from 8pm to 6:30 may cause such vampiric proclivities; because, I find myself: rushing home and trying to beat the daylight; wishing for a coffin in which to sleep (so I won't see daylight or hear the phone); feeling a need to bite people...
Well, there's that anger again.
But being a directory assistance operator is like a cross between an AA counselor and a phone sex provider...with a lot more abuse. I've started making a list of the names I've been called. Personally, my new fav is DOUCHE-BAG, then again fuckin' idiot pales in comparison.
If I was beautiful and blonde and thin, I probably wouldn't have to work so hard to get by...I could have a sugar daddy (momma?) or something to pay the bills. But, then I wouldn't have as much integrity. So which is better...integrity or a paid ride? Considering I have to leave the University job and go straightaway to my graveyard gig, the paid ride is looking much better.
What is the worn-out cliche'..."Nothing good is easy"
FUCK good, I'd take adequate right now, just so I could have a real social life...
Yeah...adequate looks pretty darn good at the moment, especially running on 3 hours sleep.
Andy the Acerbic Anarchist Award-winning Author |
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| Take a Chance... |
[May. 20th, 2004|03:27 pm] |
Take a Chance (why not every else is)
I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything. |
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| Dear Greg (you stupid piece o' shit, hillbilly motherfucker) |
[Feb. 21st, 2004|02:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | You gotta keep 'em separated --- The Offspring | ] |
Dear Passive Aggressive Closet Case,
By the time you read this, I'll be long gone. I'm sorry for doing this but, you left me no other choice. I know this might comes as a bit of a answered prayer to you - especially because you're too buried in porn to notice. But I'm sorry – I just need freedom. I think you're a psychopath, but I don't think we're right for each other. First of all, we're not compatible. You're a Republican, and I'm beyond that. You like declawed rodentia colonics, you eat inorganic produce, and enjoy Aqua Velva, and I don't like any of these things. Your favorite movie is Glitter, and your favorite band is C&C Music Factory. Do you even know what my favorite movie or band is? I once asked you what color my eyes are and you said "Nuke me some fucking hash browns!". Anyway, I want to date other people. But you know what? I still want to be dead to you. We can totally talk once a year . We had some good times, or so you told me . But please, don't get all John Wayne Gacy like last time. That means no holding my parents hostage. And look - I won't even make an issue out of the $37,229 you owe me, or the fact that you totaled my car. So take care of yourself - and enjoy prison.
Eat Shit,
Andy
P.S. I faked every orgasm.
CLICK HERE TO WRITE ANOTHER LETTER |
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| Didya Know? |
[Feb. 14th, 2004|09:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | CAKE---I wanna girl with a short skirt and long jacket | ] |
St. Valentine was a martyr in Rome that was killed by the emperor...so really, Valentine's day is not about LOVE it's about DEATH, MURDER, SACRIFICE, KILLING...oh that's right...it's the same thing, huh?
Actually, I have two very good friends who's birthday is on Valentine's day, and they are rather nice people...in fact, much nicer than me. They don't curse nearly as much as I do, or flip people off on the freeways, they don't make "babies taste great!" jokes, or threaten to make fajitas out of their cats. So, why are they so unhappy and I am relatively happy in my mundane extraordinary otherworldliness? Because I have come to grips with LIFE!!! That's the secret...I will never be a super-model, I will never have abs of steel or perfect posture. Now, I'm not settling, I'm just being realistic.
Life is what you make it...And, I choose to make it FUNKY!
PS: you can too! |
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| Just another cold and rainy day in SA |
[Feb. 12th, 2004|03:09 pm] |
Well, yeah...I'm f'in cold...never seem to warm up at work. And, I gotta run the friggin oven ALL night to get some semblance of warmth outside of the electric blanket, but beyond that...I guess all is cool (literally!)
Been writing more poetry (yeah, I is an English major along with being a Religious Studies major and a Women's Studies minor) so...for those brave souls, here goes:
(this was written after a couple of margaritas and a not so great night on the town)
ANGRY
FUCK
the men
who look
at me,
and the
fat
is all
they see.
I'm
not what
they
want me
to be,
so
to hell
with them
and
their
bigotry. --- Andy T. Morton
It's much better as a "Concrete Poem" ... it outlines the shape of a woman when centered appropriately on the page. But, the "Wellbutrin Wellness" is the newest piece my prof. really likes. That and "Kafka Wishes..." |
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| I miss my friend... |
[Feb. 5th, 2004|03:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | melancholy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Matchbox 20 - Since You're Gone | ] |
I know that title is from a C&W song, but it's still true. My best bud moved back to Louisiana back in Nov. and I'm still mourning the loss. But, on the bright side...my dating has improved since he's been gone.
Not that we were an item, it was just some strange karma that whenever he was gone I would get dates (no, not the organic, seedless variety, well that too!) and when he was here FAMINE again. But, I had so much fun with him it didn't matter.
Coffee at Mad Hatter is what I miss the most. I've been there since with other people, and it's just not the same. I've even been there alone, and there is still something drearily sad about it since he's gone.
Since my best buddy has been my best buddy I suffered many tragedies...the loss of my stepdad (he had been sick for a while) the death of my father (from a scooter accident) and went through various illness with my friend holding my hand (metaphorically).
I miss him. But life staggers on... |
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| I would feel much better if I could just kill someone... |
[Feb. 5th, 2004|03:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bitchy | ] |
MURDER IS FOR ME!!!
Well, I do have someone in mind. This annoying person in my Creative Writing class is such a MENSCH (yiddish for pest). Even her mere presence annoys me...
I know this is wrong, but then again, I DON'T CARE right now...
I've fantasized about the methods I would use to kill her and then the different ways in which I would pose her dead body around the campus. But, I don't think anyone would notice, because we all (I'm pretty sure) would be glad to be rid of her. The pigeons, of which we have plenty at the Lake, would be more than happy to POOP all over her dead and decomposing posed corpse.
This isn't very nice for someone who, originally, came to this institution of higher learning to become a NUN! Oh well, even nuns fantasize about killing don't they? |
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| Tuesday Bluesday |
[Feb. 3rd, 2004|04:51 pm] |
WELL...another round on the dating Rotturo della Forturo [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<wheel [...] don't>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] WELL...another round on the dating Rotturo della Forturo <wheel of fortune, for you guys who don't read Italian>.
It's nice, it's the second round, coffee in the morning (as opposed to coffee in the afternoon, like last time) and I think it has possibilities...but reincarnation has possibilities...that doesn't mean it's going to happen right now, for sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt.
I've made the list of pros and cons...OK..he's not Jeffrey Daumer YET. But there still is time. And, I haven't actually had dinner with him. So, he could be Ted Bundy (NO...not Al Bundy, but you know he could be that too!)
He likes volumptuous...good for me, right? Rubenesque would be better, though. A good man is so hard to find (or a hard ... no I won't go there) Remember, it's been an awfully long time for this gal to fly through the intensly heated re-entry zone of dating.
OK...enough whining...I wanna drink or a freebie dinner. Time for another date. |
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| Bhakti Poetry |
[Feb. 1st, 2004|10:27 am] |
The Path of Bhakti
I know the sound of the ecstatic flute
But I don't know whose flute it is.
A lamp burns and has neither wick nor oil.
A lily pad blossoms and is not attached to the bottom!
When the flower opens, ordinarily dozens open.
The moon bird's head is filled with nothing
but thoughts of the moon,
and when the next rain will come
is all the rain bird thinks of.
Who is it we spend one entire life loving!
- KABIR (translation by Robert Bly) |
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| Another Saturday Night (and I ain't got nobody, I got some money cuz I just got paid) |
[Jan. 31st, 2004|04:02 pm] |
The title is from an old Cat Stevens song, for you youngsters he's a singer from the 70's who converted to Islam. He sang Morning has Broken...Remember? Ok, NO??? Oh well, I know I'm old...
I'm still thinking about going to Clint's party that Jess invited me to. But, it's a long drive, and I would like to drink, but don't wanna drink & drive. Just drink...and the cats don't drive. So....
I guess I could teach Dallas, the puppy, but his legs don't reach the gas pedal, and I would still have to remain semi-functional. DAMN! OK, well, maybe just one or two drinks on a full stomach.
I met a really nice guy on the internet...I know, everyone is nice on the internet. It's when you meet them in person that they grow hair on their knuckles and sprout fangs. But he is Italian, tall and thin and well....you know, I haven't dated in quite a while. So, just about anything this side of Jeffrey Daumer is looking pretty darn good.
Don't tell him that, cuz I think it might just be workable, and if he thinks I'm comparing him to Jeffrey Daumer he might get a complex or something (or at least begin to wonder about me when I get these strange cravings.)
Anyways...this is my second entry
God help us all. |
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| Today's is my first... |
[Jan. 16th, 2004|01:26 pm] |
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Today is my first entry, so I'm learning the journal system and all of its tweeks and geeks. Yeah, I'm a geek too! It's a rainy day in SA, but that's OK 'cuz I like rain (as long as I'm inside.) |
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